All of the situations described on this blog are true. Only the names are being changed to protect… well, me, of course.

There are certain subjects that discretion dictates should not be discussed in public, especially if one ever intends to look for a job, ask a new person out on a date, enter into a new business relationship, or maintain friendships with those who are also friends with one’s soon-to-be ex.

I am a 41 42 43 48-year old husband and single father, living and working in the soggy Puget Sound region of Washington State, USA. As an extrovert, I tend to develop ideas and solve problems by talking them out, or writing about them, and engaging with other people. I’m at a crossroads in my life, as my business is faltering and I are parting ways, my marriage is failing over, and my finances, health, and family responsibilities are all shifting. Who do I talk to about all this? How do I discuss these issues publicly… yet, discretely?

This blog is an attempt to help me deal with these issues.

And while these issues are new to me, and they mean a lot of change for me, I know that they are not unique to me. Perhaps you are facing similar issues. Perhaps you’ve dealt with them in the past, or have some insight that I (or other readers) could benefit from.

Please do post your suggestions and observations.

Thank you for visiting.



  1. I’m going to repeat myself from the other comment I just left, but after reading through your posts, you sound like Bill. It is weird to hear it from the other end with a mans perspective again. One that feels. One that doesn’t deny what is happening and what is in motion. It is so hard to accept it and it is easier to just want to stay. Staying is so much easier. To bad we can’t just all skip over the hard parts. The divorce, the moving out, the adjusting of children, the pain of the break up, the loss of everything we have done over the years. I’ll keep reading and I’m glad to be sticking it out with you. Love your writing!

    • Shannon,

      Thank you for your kind comments about my writing. And thank you for sticking it out with me while we both travel these difficult roads. I likewise wish you the best as you face your own challenges.

      Yes, wouldn’t it be nice if we could skip past the tough stuff?

      Here’s to working it through!

  2. Hi, Itnever,

    I like your writing. I’ve only read a few posts so far, but I plan to take more time to read through the blog later. Every marriage/divorce is different, and I’m eager to see what happens in your journey.

    Thanks for the link on your blogroll!

    Snark B.

  3. Thank you.
    You are writing what I am feeling/thinking/wishing.

  4. Inris,

    I’ve spent the last couple nights reading through your blog — it has been an incredible eye-opener for me. Although I have not spent time in that kind of a marriage, my husband has, with his first wife. It took reading such an intimate, honest account for me to realize how much it must have affected him. And it reminds me that he wants–no, needs– my love, my affection, my approval, my admiration, my desire every bit as much as I need those things from him. I hope that when you’re ready, you will meet someone that will give all these things to you freely and without measure or any kind of prerequisite. And I hope you won’t stop writing, so I can be thrilled along with you when you do.

  5. Wow. I stumbled over here via “I’m Gonna Break Your Heart”, and I’ve just let nearly 30 minutes of my work day go to browsing through some of your posts.

    I’m absolutely fascinated by your story, thoughts, candidness and questions and gritted-teeth tone of all this. I don’t mean that in a bad way. You just write with such a matter-of-fact air about such an un-matter-of-fact topic. Well, to me, at least. But, what do I know? I’m a 29-year-old singleton who has yet to marry or divorce.

    I think what I’m trying (and failing) to say is that I couldn’t stop reading because the story and voice here is so compelling and interesting and sad and hopeful and practical and romantic, all at the same time—which is quite the combination indeed! I feel odd saying I enjoy it, because, well, I doubt you enjoy getting divorced. But…I appreciate you sharing it all so openly.

    Enough rambling! Good luck, take care, stay dry. 🙂

    • Thank you for your kind words. While you’re correct, I’m not enjoying the prospect of getting divorced, I am enjoying the fact that I’m getting on with my life after so long in a rut.

      And it always feels good to have one’s writing so warmly appreciated… esp. when those compliments are coming from another writer!

      Thanks for dropping by. I hope to see your comments as we go forward.

      Oh, and I, too, was as-yet unmarried by the age of 29. So much has happened since then….

  6. You’ve been awarded The Inspiring Blog Award!! http://sexstarvedwife.wordpress.com/2013/06/05/inspiring-blog-award-my-very-first-award-im-so-excited/

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