Posted by: itneverrainsinseattle | November 8, 2010

One Year, Rain Free

A little over a year ago, I finally broached the subject of divorce with my wife directly. The topic had come up earlier during counseling sessions, but my goal then had been to save the marriage, not leave it. Penny was not similarly inclined. While she wasn’t actively campaigning for divorce, she also wasn’t participating in keeping our marriage going. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I realized it was foolish to try to keep this marriage going on my own.

Two weeks after that conversation, I knew I needed to seek the advice of others who have gone before me. I knew I needed to vent my issues, so as to better see them for what they were. And so, on this day last year, I began this blog.

Happy blogiversary to me.

Much has happened over the course of this past year:

  • I finally reconciled myself to the notion of divorce, and have been carefully navigating toward what I hope will be a civil parting of the ways. 
  • Our finances tanked, but have since begun climbing back up.
  • My good friend Gabrielle died, which hit me harder than I ever would have expected.
  • I blew out my knee and had major surgery to repair it (and the recovery is still ongoing.) 
  • Penny has taken over the business I used to run.
  • …and our kids keep growing up.

There have been other milestones, as well; reminders that there is a life awaiting me beyond this current… limbo, for lack of a better word.

But the biggest thing that has changed has been, quite frankly, the give and take of the blog itself; the development of a family here. People who understand what I’m going through, and who have leant their support and their insight. The chance to see that there’s daylight ahead, and that divorce does not mean that all is lost.

I have much to tell you all, my friends and lurking readers. About the exhilaration of getting a passport for an upcoming simple day trip to Vancouver. About the do-it-yourself divorce kit I ordered online, and the role that’s playing in our collaborative divorce. About shifts at my job, and the constant back-and-forth over the disposition of our house. About my slowly mending knee. About the fact that there are other things in my life besides divorce.

But for now, for just this moment, let me pause to say this: thank you, dear readers. Thank you for being there, for your insights and your support and your kindness… even when it’s been a kind, swift kick in the pants. It’s been a pleasure to get to know so many of you, and to start building new friendships with you.

So thank you.

And happy blogiversary to us.

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Responses

  1. Wow, it’s been a year? So much has changed for both of us…all for the better, it seems. You’ve made a difference for me too…just so you know!
    P.S.
    I wonder whatever happened to the guy whose blog I was following when I found you there in his comment section, and decided to check out your blog?

  2. Ooohhh!! Happy Blogoversary to YOU, friend! I am so glad that one year ago you found your way here and into all of our lives! You know, blogging is really special, and so are the friendships we make.

    You have done SO much in this past year and will do even more in the next. I am so glad to call you my friend and can’t wait to watch things unfold for you!

    Have yourself a piece of cake! haha

    xoxo
    Sarah

  3. CONGRATULATIONS! Happy Blogiversary. May the next year get better and better.

  4. what a year. happy blogiversary! here’s to increasing clarity in the next year.

  5. Happy Blogiversary! I am so glad that you are here, sharing your story with us. I am also glad to be able to call you friend. 🙂

  6. So glad we have been apart of one anothers ride. Happy blogoversary and here is to fighting the uphill battle. Once we hit the top it will all be worth it.

  7. Happy blogoversary! I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you over the past year, so you better not go anywhere!

  8. Happy blogoversary. May the coming year bring more positive changes and more of your writing!

  9. Happy blogoversary! What a difference a year makes. Hopefully, you’ll be looking back in a year’s time with amazement at the new life you’ve created.

    Intrigued to hear about the DIY divorce kit …

  10. Wow, a year. Well written my friend, and I feel good knowing that I met you here and IRL! You have come so far this year, and I’m sure you don’t even realize just how far. Onward to year two and the best has yet to come!

  11. Congrats on your blogoversary. You’ve been a valuable addition to the divorce blogging community.

    I hope you make as much progress in the next year as you have in the last one.

  12. Wow. One year. Great growth, all around. 🙂

  13. Late to the party again!

    Milestones are important. They give you an indication of how far you have come in your travel. Your travel has reached a point where things are in motion toward a better existence, and you are able to stop and check your progress.

    Just remember that this last year cannot be used as a measure of progress for the next. Once the legal system gets involved, things can go VERY slowly. You will want to give in to frustration, but a better usage of the time would be to examine the process and make sure it is going the way you want it to go. Leave the emotionalism for when all is said and done – then have a beer for me!

  14. Yay! One year. And I’m still a little jealous that you and Jolene met IRL without me. 😉

    Congrats on all the milestones. So proud to know you.


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