Posted by: itneverrainsinseattle | April 2, 2010

The prank I wouldn’t play

I thought about posting here on April 1st that Penny and I were going to try to make it work.

I decided that would be about as cruel an April Fool’s bit I could write… at least as cruel to me as to you, my faithful readers.

There’s much to tell, my friends, but alas, I must be going off to bed. I’ve been sleeping more lately — my insomnia comes and goes, and it has left me for a while. I get the sense that it’s coming back, so you may be hearing more from me in the coming days, but for now… gotta catch some z’s while they’re catchable.

The new job? It’s not that bad. It takes me out of commission for more of the day than I would like, but if I’m able to actually do anything with the money I get from this gig, that would be nice.

Talked to a lawyer about bankruptcy. That conversation led to a chat about divorce. This lawyer, unlike two other lawyers I’ve spoken with in the past (this will be a topic of a future post), is of the opinion that a judge would likely order me to pay spousal support and child support if Penny were to have a change of heart about what we’ve agreed to. This has been a decidedly downer thought. My new, big paycheck, however temporary it is, complicates this whole situation.

I can honestly say that my recent birthday was, by far, the worst day I’ve had so far this year. Not so much because of any crushed expectations (I had none) or unrealized sentimentality; rather, because I was working three jobs that day, had a bruising headache for the entire damned day (caffeine withdrawal is not for wimps), and issues with our business. I’m going to have to fire my last remaining, very very part-time employee.

Lastly for tonight, I’m going to be asking for your advice again soon, my bloggy friends. Exiting from this marriage gracefully is going to require a lot of very delicate steps around a potentially dangerous minefield.

But that’s for later. For now, I’m sleepy, so it’s off to bed for me. Gotta get to work early in the morning and try to be my very best!

I’ve missed you all. Thank you all so very much for your comments and your personal e-mail messages (it never rains in seattle at gee mail dot com). You are awesome.



  1. It’s easy to get impatient with the whole divorce process. I know that I certainly felt that way. Like all things in life, however, I think that patience goes a LONG way in preserving your sanity.

    Hang in there.

    Also – I have done the caffeine withdrawal thing a couple of times now. It truly, truly sucks. Have you thought about weaning yourself off gradually instead of going cold turkey? I’m not much of a weaner myself, I’d rather do it like a bandaid and do it all once.

    Then again, that’s coming from someone who is, once again, a caffeine addict. heh.

    All I can say is to take care of yourself and hang in there. It’s all just going to take some time.


  2. I’m not a lawyer, but I’ve been worried that Penny could change her mind and complicate things as well… As for the headaches, I wish I had some advice. I’ve tried everything and nothing seems to help. I’ll be thinking of ya!

  3. Caffeine withdrawal – are you nuts?! 😉 Seriously, I think that would kill me. I love my coffee too much. Anyway, I truly hope the divorce doesn’t become overly complicated or that Penny goes back against what she’s agreed to, for your sake and sanity, just as much as hers, in a sense. It’s a convoluted process, and I wish you the best…and happy to share any advice I possibly can. And, um, maybe sleep an extra hour or two just for you!

  4. The unanswered implied question: are you seeing signs that Penny is abandoning your agreements?

    I share the concerns expressed here, and IIRC I have expressed my concerns about this happening in the past. I hope you have something written that both of you signed and dated. Having had it notarized would have helped. If you have not done so, this might be the time to get going on confirming your agreements and having them witnessed (yeah, like you need something else to do right now!).

    As for the caffeine headache, my advice is to cut back rather than eliminate coffee. Physically readjusting to not imbibing sends you on a roller-coaster of energy and mood fluctuations that won’t be very helpful to you in this stressful time. To successfully cope with your changing environment means you have to maintain a stability so that you don’t lose your center and overwhelm yourself.


  5. it’s always a possibility that things will go awry in the winding-down process. that’s one of the many, many reasons why divorce sucks so badly. one thing to think about is whether there are specific formulas courts in WA use to calculate spousal or child support. in louisiana, for example, there are very strict calculation methods that bind judges’ hands in these situations. in order to deviate from the formula, the judge has to show very distinct circumstances that so warrant. if you know what that calculation will be going in, you can plan accordingly. cold comfort, but at least you can be prepared.

    (and as always, i am not a lawyer yet; they make me say that every time.)

    sorry to hear about this; i hope the fact that there are folks out here rooting for you helps a little.

  6. I can’t, for the life of me, imagine why you would give up coffee, especially if you like it. There are so few pleasures in life and you seem to have fewer than most people at the moment. Would you do that to a good friend? (Take away his coffee, I mean…)

    For the record, when I switched to organic coffee beans, I could drink it or not and NEVER got a headache.
    I believe it is the chemicals, not the caffeine, from which one withdraws. So, if you start up again (as I’m sure you will), make it organic! Be nice to you!

  7. Always there for you. Let me know!

  8. (a) I hate April Fool’s Day, mostly because I distrust everything everyone says, and I am not, by nature, a distrustful person, so it’s very hard for me. (b) I have made it a rule to Never, EVER work on my birthday. Learned that one by having one of the worst days of my working life on my birthday. I know it wasn’t something you could avoid, due to the circumstances, but it sucks. Happy Belated Birthday!

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